i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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