wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
