its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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