Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize