I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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