i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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