between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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