so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
