I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
