Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
