So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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