You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
