This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
