I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
