Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
