someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
