I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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