Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
