Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
