remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
