If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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