How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
