two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
