Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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