The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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