Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize