It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
