One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
birth control should be required to get into college
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
