hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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