weddingsv make me drug and hornr
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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