dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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