i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This is classic penis vs brain.
and you fell through a lawn chair
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
