Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
