Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
