Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
