Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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