My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Couch. On fire.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize