apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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