I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize