Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
