Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
