i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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