um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
