therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize