Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
