Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
