I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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