Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
