Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
