I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
