plz talk dirty to me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
