I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
