Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
