I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
