sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
