Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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