you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
