I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
thus making me awesome and them whores
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
