I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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