Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
