I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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