dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
