did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
