I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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