you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
