No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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