Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
